The Quarrel That Changed Everything

The Quarrel That Changed Everything
By Shirley Tan-Oehler
Singapore: 27 May 2009

It happened in the middle of June in 1987. But, the story actually started two weeks earlier.

An executive pastry chef had joined the Royal Holiday Inn Singapore hotel in February that year, but there had been no public relations manager to help push out the publicity for him.
Along came Shirley Tan on 1 June, her first day at work as the new PR Manager; and her first Heads of Department meeting at 9.30 am.

Shirley had come fresh from The Straits Times where she was one of the champions Towards A Nation of Non-Smokers, and had written about the hotel she had just joined: That all meetings were smoke-free.

Then, she smelt burning tobacco.
She turned around, ready to tick off whoever was smoking – until she saw this incredibly good-looking man.
She bit her tongue, smiled, and turned around.

After the meeting, she actually forgot about him and his blond hair, green eyes and well-chiseled body – until two weeks later, when she found out that no one had sent out any press releases about him, and she took it upon herself to prepare one.

So, she made an appointment to see him while he was at work, in the pastry kitchen.
It was just after lunchtime, and he was preparing for high tea when Shirley showed up.

After getting the answers to the basic questions, she asked a few personal ones:
Are you married?
Are you seeing someone?
Would you marry an Asian woman?

He stopped kneading dough, cast a piercing glare into Shirley’s eyes, and said:
“You know, these questions are not relevant to the press release.”

Unaffected, Shirley shot back:
“I have a suggestion, Chef… How about, you don’t teach me how to write and I promise I will not teach you how to bake?”

He threw the slab of dough on the table, and turned to one of his assistants:
“Finish in.”

Then, he stalked off out of the kitchen.

Shirley returned to her office.

Her secretary, Dora, asked her how the interview went.
Shirley said: “He’s not getting any publicity through me.”

The next morning, Dora put a call through to Shirley:
“It’s the Executive Pastry Chef.”

***

SHIRLEY: “Yes?”

MANFRED: “Miss Tan? I am Manfred. We met yesterday in my kitchen and we didn’t finish the interview.”

SHIRLEY: “And you think I’m going back to your kitchen to finish it? You got to be joking!”

MANFRED: “No, I was rude, and I am calling to apologise. I had a bad day yesterday.”

SHIRLEY: “You are not the only one with ‘bad’ days. Everyone has bad days. You were a jerk!”

MANFRED: “I am sorry… Can I make it up to you? Can I take you to lunch?

SHIRLEY: “What do you take me for? Some submissive Asian woman from dinosaur land who would show you respect even though you don’t deserve it – just because you are ‘ang moh’? You are Executive ‘B’ and I am Executive ‘B’. Where you can eat in this hotel and sign for your meal, I can do the same. I don’t need you to take me to lunch.”

After much cajoling, Shirley agreed to go to lunch with Manfred at the Dynasty Hotel that day, and they returned to the Royal Holiday Inn Singapore hotel… holding hands.

***

Four months later, in October 1987, Shirley proposed.
Manfred accepted.

They got married on 9 January 1988 in Singapore, and underwent a church wedding in Bad-Kohlgrub, Bavaria, Germany, on 23 January 1988.

Andreas was born slightly more than a year later, on 16 February 1989.

They had to wait for more than four years before Michaela arrived, on 18 April 1993: >